Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize