so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
