You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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