Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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