you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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