Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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