yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
