She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize