Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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