i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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