where am i from again
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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