You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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