My nipple is on Facebook.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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