two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
