Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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