Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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