He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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