i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
