Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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