Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize