i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
