Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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