White coat. Heels.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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