was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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