Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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