Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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