i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
