I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
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I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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