Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
