Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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