The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
