You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
