i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
