I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
