when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
