well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize