Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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