I wish I could punch you in the face.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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