FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
