you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
