That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Everyone says I win the strip club
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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