Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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