Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
