I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
