I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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