Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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