You smell like a Billy Joel song
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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