I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
