oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
