Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
