It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
