so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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