i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
