well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
a search helicopter?!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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