you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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