I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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