dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
