so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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