Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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